So Ready

So ready to have my husband home. Enough is enough of this deployment. It has been hard and long and I am so rady for it to be over. I want to move on with our lives. Right now it feels like its on hold. We cant move forward.

Once he is home there will be no more sleeping on the couch because he might get on the computer, no more making sure your cell phone is in reception and always by your side just in case he calls, no more worrying if he is alright as he will be right there be side me. I worry when I dont hear from him when he says he is going to get on or call. It puts me on edge and I get really aggrivated fast. We are so close to him coming home and I am so scared as I know that this is the time that the danger picks up because of new guys coming in, guys getting careless because they know they are going home soon, ect...

Most importantly I want to be a family again. I need/want my husband and the girls want & need there daddy so bad. Everytime there is a plane that Kenzie sees she asks if her dad is on it, or when he will be home, why is he away, ect.. We have drove by where his company is a few times since Drew left (its all the way on the other side of post) and Kenzie remember that is where daddy left from and asks if we are going to get daddy now. She pulls at my heart all the time.

Update of sorts!

We have about 11 days to go!!

Current projects..Helping a military family in need. Soldier is deployed he has 3 kids a 5yo boy, 3yo girl, and 1yo girl. The wife (use that term losely) has some mental issues. CPS ended up taking the kids (they are at his moms house till he returns) and she was put in a mental hospital. After she was released from the hospital she broke into there on post housing (Smashed an upstairs window) and took the furniture. A little over a week ago my frg leader and I started the cleaning process of the house. WE had NO idea just how dirty it was. We have spent hours and hours over there and have been there till 3am a couple nights. Its beyond dirty..down right gross. I am talking finding used tampons everywhere but the trash can, underwear with poop in them that have been there for awhile, ect.. Its GROSS!!!

I also have a couple sewing projects but dont think those will get done till after Drew comes home, Need to make Kenzies welcome home shirt, plus I am making the soldiers 3 kids shirt and I already made his 2 girls bows, I still need to finish cleaning my down stiars (upstairs is done), and I need to make 2 more welcome home signs. I think that is it...lol

This past Thursday I had a meeting with the plastic surgeon and got the green light to have the breast reduction! I will have 400-500 grams removed from the left side (about a lb) and 700 grams removed from the right side. The surgery should take place Mid. Aug but should know this coming week when for sure. I am scared and nervous but this is so needed

Found out a couple days ago we are moving this fall/winter (nov-dec.) to Fort Knox Kentucky! Another Chapter closing and another one opening...should be interesting to see where life takes us next..

Plastic Surgery

Last Month I meet with my PCM and she put in a referal for my to have a breast reduction. On tuesday I recieved confermation that I was approved to meet with a plastic surgen. We will have to travel about an hour away to go to the dr. I called the same day to set up an appt. The soonest appt. they have is July 31st! of course we will be out of town then so I was told I had to wait a few weeks as they dont have the Aug. Schedual out yet but she mentioned I could attend a seminar on June 11th. Bad thing was it was at night and day cares would be closed. So I had to pass it up. Well I was talking to a friend and she almost kicked my butt because she said she had no problem watching the girls. So I called and am set up for the seminar. The will go over the procedure of the breast reduction (there will be 8-10 other women there for the same reason), what to expect, ect... The drs will then do a 1 on 1 consultation with you to see if you are canadite, ect... If you are they will then have to submit another referal into tricare to see if they will cover it (yea I thought I already got the go ahead for surgery turns out it was only to see the plastic surgeon) that referal will take another couple weeks. So we should know late June or early July if I can do this. Please pray this goes threw. My back has only gotten worse since losing weight. (I thought it would get better) but losing 55 lbs did nothing for my boobs. They are still the same size. I am ALOT more top heavy now. We also need this done before we move other wise I will have to restart the processes again.

Army Wife

Being an army wife isnt easy. Your soldier works LONG hours, Everyday is different then the last, one day he could be right there beside you and the next in a country so very far away. The first few days/weeks you live by the phone and computer afraid to go out, because you know the moment you do you will miss that very important call/IM from him. If you do miss that call you heart sinks, you beat yourself up about leaving, you sit, wait, pray, and hope he will IM or call you again soon. You wonder how your going to do it without your best friend and husband by your side. But you take it one day at a time. Even though you feel like time is standing still, time is still going by. Holdiays, Birthdays, Anniversarys still happen. You put on a smile for the kids but deep down inside your heart broken because your husband isnt there to be apart of those memories and moments. You never get a break or time for you there is always something to do, someoen to take care of. Once a routine is established with your soldier being online/calling. When that routine is broken your scared and worried. Praying that everything is okay. You live for that IM and Phone Call. Its what keeps you going. You treasure the moments and time you are able to be with your soldier even if they are short. The saying absences makes the heart grow fonder...so true. Your marriage is tested each time they are away but in the end we come out stronger then we went in. I love my soldier and I am so proud to be his wife threw thick and thin, no matter what life brings we can over come it as long as we are together.

I promise

one of these days I will come back on here and update with pictures, ect..

Right now I am not doing so good physically. I am pretty sure most of my problems are a result to the birth control I am on. I am going to the dr. on the 30th and pray she will be able to remove it and not send me to an OB to have it removed. I am hoping once this is removed my body will return to normal. I plan on getting on another form of birth control before Drew comes home (looking like he will be home in June some time) so the sooner I get this removed the sooner I can get on something else. Note for anyone ready the Implanon is the worst birth control I have ever been on. When you read the side effects beware that you will end up with alot of them and they are not temporary.

I think I had a list of 17-18 side effects that can occur I have 10 of those!

Quick Update

Well life has been full of ups and downs since I last posted

R&R was simply AMAZING! We had so much fun and it was so great to be a family again. We went to Great Wolf Lodge, shoping, took a trip to the San Antonio Zoo, but most of all spent time as a family

Saying Good bye was the hardest. For a couple weeks after he left I wanted to do nothing and just mooped around the house

Kenzie just had her 4th birthday :) She is getting so big! While Drew was home we gave her her birthday present from us which was a trampoline. she loves it! Daddy taught her to do flips on it before he left

Kylie saw the ENT yesterday and is having tubes put in her ears in late May (soonest appt. they have, got to love the military health care) Dr. said her ears were clear yesterday but today she woke up with a high fever and despit alternating tylenol and motrin every few hours she is still running a fever and the only time she runs high fevers is when she has ear infections. So we may be in the ER tonight or tomarrow.

Well got to run will post more later with pictures

Very Happy :)

I am happy to Say that Yesterday the girls and I drove down to Dallas to pick up Drew at the airport. Yep that is right he is finally home! He was about the 6th soldier off the plane of 200 soldier coming hone for R&R. Kenzie wasnt sure what to do, Drew kneeled down and asked for a hug she looked at me and then back to him and wraper her arms really tight around his neck and huged him. She was so happy. Kylie just kept stareing at him not sure what to think. We had a 3hour drive back home and the girls were VERY quite for the first hour or so. But then they started warming up and by the time we were nearing home they were both in giggles. It was so nice to hear those little laughs coming from the back seat as they were so happy. Kenzie is still 100% daddys little girl. OMG she is clung to him every chance she gets. I think have heard daddy look, daddy watch 100 time already. She wants all her daddys attention. If I sit next to him she is jumping on the other side of him....lol Its the small things that mean alot. Today we went to the px I was holding Kylies hand, kylie was holding Kenzies hand, kenzie was holding daddys hand. I had a huge smile on my face. :) Well just wanted to post a quick update

Sweet Baby

Today was my angels due date. I cant say its been an easy day. I am tired, stressed, and heart broken. Kenzie is at school, Kylie is napping, and I am sitting here all alone crying. I havent heard from my husband since Sunday morning. He is on his way home for R&R. Right now I have no clue where he is or when he will be home. I jsut really want/need him home. I didnt think I would take it as hard as I am, this deployment has been very rough. Especially the past month or so. If I was still pregnant my husband would of already been home, because the army would of made sure of it. But now that I am not they could care less when he makes it back. its not fair in any way shape or form. RIP sweet baby you were so wanted, so loved, and are missed.

I was not ready for this

This afternoon after the kids I was watch went home. I decided to Jump in the shower before Kylie got up from her nap. As it was getting to be about that time. I was in the shower less the 20 minutes. I walk out the door. Kylies door is open, Kylie is NOT in her crib, I heard her down stairs with kenzie (who was suppose to be on the couch watching Barney). I go down there and bring both girls back upstairs. Ask Kenzie how Kylie got out of her Crib. She said she climbed out. So I stuck Kylie in her crib and sure enough the little monkey climbed back out. I figure Kylie opened her door (it doesnt shut all the way) and went down the stairs. But it came out later that Kenzie went in Kylies room and thats why Kylie came out and climbed out and they went down stiars together. Little shits. So I headed to Toys R Us and got a baby gate to block off the hallway going towards the stairs. I converted her crib to a toddler bed and put a railing on it so she doesnt fall out. My baby is getting so big.

Love bears all things,

Believes all things,

Hopes all things,

Endures all things,

Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13:7-8

Getting Taken advantage of

Okay My friend M is really irrating me. I watched her kids over night on the 6th of this month. So they could do things for the youngests party. Well they didnt do anything so I watched them for no reason appearently. I have watched them alot during the day so they they could go to lunch, get tattos, ect.. They are never on time picking them up, ect.. Well I was suppose to watch then this past Friday but her dh ended up having duty. She asked if I would watch them Saturday Overnight. I said thats fine I didnt have any plans. Well I texted her friday night telling her I didnt think I could watch them saturday because I wasnt feeling good. Saturday afternoon she calls and still asks if I could watch them? Are you serious? I have the flu taking care of my 2 kids is hard enough and you want me to still watch your 3? You know I am sick and you want your kids here? WTH? I told her NO, its woul dhave only been a couple hours but you know in that couple hours I would have had to feed 5 kids, listen to them fight, tattle, and not listen. Her kids are all out brats lately and dont listen. She even admits they are being brats at home and not listening to her or there dad. Yesterday she asked if I would take them this friday overnight. I agreed because I do feel bad about cancling last weekend even though I couldnt prevent it. So I will be watching them late afternoon friday till probably late afternoon Saturday. Today she calls me and asks if I can baby sit for her this afternoon. What do I have door mat written on my face? I am busy and have stuff to do my husband will be home soon. This afternoon I plan on going grocery shopping before kenzie gets out of school that way I only have Kylie to worry abotu at the store (it goes alot faster with 1..lol) So I told her no. I know she was mad but I dont care at this point I think she is taking advantage of me at this point. Sorry just need to vent some

More about the last post

Wall Words Mentioned in the last post, its something Drew and I have always said/done when we are together, that and never go to bed mad at each other.

Yesterday we went to the Outlets to get the girls new bathing suits for when

Drew is home on R&R. I love the tops especially for the sun here

in Tx less skin showing=less skin that can be burned

Kenzies bathing Suit & matching Sandels

Kylies bathing suit...couldnt find her size in the
sandles but I will get her some little crocs or something soon.

Bored

My house is clean Kenzies at school, Kylies taking a nap, laundry is done. I sit here bored. I have been working really hard getting things in order for R&R. I have hung pictures in the living room, put up wall words in Drew & I's bedroom. Girls Rooms are clean, bath rooms clean, wall washed, lol Its been nice my spring cleaning is done :) LOL

Family is expanding

We have one adorable Niece already, she has a little bother or sister on the way this coming Fall. Yesterday I found out my sister is engaged! The guy she is with has 2 little girls ages 2 & 4. So by the end of the year it looks like we will have a brother in law, 2 nieces, and a new little niece or nephew. :) I just wish we were closer to family. We hope that can change in the couple years.

Shes Happy!

Kenzies New Booster Seat for the car came today! She is very excited to have a "Big Girl Seat" (her words)

Excited & Nervous

With R&R roughly 13 days away I am filled with so many emotions mostly excited and nervous. Its been so long since we have last saw him.

The girls are so much bigger and have changed so much. Last time Drew saw Kenzie she was still a little girl. Now she is in school and has grown so much! She talks ALOT more and is speaking clearly. She says the funniest things. This past Sunday Morning she said to me That her tummy was hiding in her foot because she didnt want to eat...lol Kylie she was bearly 1yo when Drew last saw her and now she is almost 19months old. She talks so much more and she has more teeth...lol Both girls love there Daddy dearly. Each night they get tucked into bed with a picture of them with dad and a stuffed animal that Dad gave them before he left.

I have changed both physically and mentally. I have lost 50lbs since may last year, Last time he saw me I was a size 18+ pants and I am currently wearing a 12 but they are starting to fall off so I am pretty sure I could wear a 10. Mentally I have grown alot over the past 7 months. Shortly after Drew left I went to Vegas to visit family which turned into a nightmare. But that nightmare made me grow as a person. I am stronger and for the first time stood up to my grandparents. Suffering the misscarriage changed me. I still think about our baby that we lost. As the time gets closer to our due date I get sad. its going to be bitter sweet because Drew is coming home on R&R right around the due date. I know god has a plan for us and I am trying to go along with it whatever it may be.

I know Drew has changed. He has seen stuff over there and had stuff happen to him that he cant even talk about on the phone. On R&R we will finally be able to talk about stuf like this.

R&R should be fun. From the sounds of it Drew might be getting his cast off right before he comes home on R&R or about a week into R&R. So we may be able to go to GreatWolf Lodge after all. Which would be awesome.

So if you can say a prayer of safe travel for him

Kylies 1st Haircut

Kylie got her Very 1st Haircut on Sunday Feb. 1st 2009

She was not happy about it^

Are we done yet^

All Smiles at home^Front View

Back View No more Maulet^

When it rains it poors

Okay Well yesterday after Kylie got up from her nap I went digging into the storage closet upstairs for the 24month spring/summer clothes as it was warm outside. Well I was standing on one of the big storage tuperwears and was almost to the storage bin I wanted wehn the one I was standing in caved and my foot went in. My foot bi passed the lid pretty much traping my foot. I managed to un trap it and scoot on my butt down stairs with Kylie. Called my friend M because I was in pain couldnt walk on it and it was swelling. M picked me up and we went to get Kenzie from school (M didnt know where Kenzies school was located) as its in the next town over. So after we get kenzie she droped me off at the ER. 6 hours later and about 10 x-rays I have a sever sprain and brusied foot/ankle. The put me in a semi cast and I am to follow up with my Dr. on Wed. Well I must say trying to take care of 2 kids and going up and down stairs is not easy when one foot is not usable. I tossed and turned all night couldnt get comfy and the semi cast was hurting. As the edges that are at my knee are sharp and were cutting and scrapping me. So I had to take it off and just wraped my ankle in a ace bandage. It feels better today then it did yesterday but its still pretty swallon

Lifes Been Crazy!

Okay so life has been completly crazy lately

Kylie went to the dr last week for her toe. She had a sore on it, I kept an eye on it it was healing. No sooner that one cleared up she got another one and it was hurting her. So I took her to the dr. The dr blind sighted me saying he wanted to check her for diabities. She needed to fast, ect.. So the following morning I took her to the lab for the test. Well the dr (aka idot) only order a reg. blood panel she didnt need to fast or anything for. Grrr So the next day we get the results her glocouse is good but her potassium and chloride (salt) were hight but he wasnt concerned. Ummm?????????? So she had her 18month check up yesterday. I brought up my concerns with her dr. and she ordered a UA and had more blood drawn. We are awaiting the test results. Kylie is 23lbs and 32 1/2 in. She is my little one. She is in the 50% for height and weight.

Drew where to start with him. LOL (I love you) last week he was working on a truck. Someone frogot to set the brake or something and the truck started rolling backwards. Well Drew tried to get in the truck and stop it. In the process ended up crushing his hand. He was med flighted off his camp to a larger base "over there" He broke some bones in his hand and the swelling was pretty substatnal. They were not sure if he would need surgery to fix it or not so it was a waiting game. Here it is a week later and he got his cast put on today :) No surgery needed. R&R is about 18 days away at this point. He should be headed back to his camp soon for about a week and then will start on his journey back here.

Well Ky just got up write more later

Song

i found this song about a month ago.......I LOVE IT! It describes my life perfectly

Music Video:
href="http://216.180.244.187/videos/r/roxie_dean/a_soldiers_wife-3.html" target="_blank">A Soldiers Wife by (Roxie Dean)

Music Video Code by Video Code Zone

SO HAPPY

I am so happy right now! Drew called today which may not seem so exciting to you but lately he has been so busy on missions, ect... that we havent had time to talk. We have talked a whole 4 times (including today) this month. and 1 of those times it was only about 2 minutes before the line droped. So we were able to talk about things going on, the girls, how we are, ect...

Drew (so proud of you) Is now the Motor Sgt. For the camp he is at. This is huge for him filling that spot. He wont be going on anymore mission which makes me feel like I can breath. Those missions scare me.

R&R is less then a month away!

prioritizing

Something I really need to work on.

Lately I have been hanging out with my friend M alot and helped her alot unpacking and getting her house together for when her husband came home from a 15 month deployment. In that I started slacking on my house because by the end of the day I was just to tired. Our routine at home has been gone for the past 2 weeks and I that seems to of thrown the girls off. Both girls are acting out, Kenzie in particular. So I need to prioritize here and things. I have been working really hard this past week to get my house back in order and get the girls back on there schedual and in a routine again. I have realised my kids NEED a routine. I know once Drew is home on R&R there routine will be slacked on a bit but I think the pros will out way the cons in that situation. It feels great though to have my house back in order again.

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Lifes been Busy

So lately I suck at everything. Pictures, emailing family, ect... I am sorry. Life has been crazy busy and doesnt seem to be letting up anytime soon! I have been helping my Freind M out, we switch off on watching each other kids (she has 3). So we get some free time to do things without little ones running around. Drew will be on R&R in about 5 weeks and we can not wait! When R&R hits will be about 7 1/2 months since we have seen each other. Communication between Drew and I has been slim the past 1 1/2 months. Which really hurts but thats part of the military. Its not that we dont want to talk. But he has been on lots of missions and working late nights alot lately. The past couple days I have been stressed out about our relationship, I have been feeling like a hippo is sitting on my chest and have been feeling so neauseas the past 2 days to the point I was physically getting sick and couldnt sleep. Today he called it was the first time we talked on the phone in 2 weeks. OMG the Hippo has been lifted. I can breath and I dont feel so sick anymore. It is scarey having someone you love so much so far away and you dont hear from him for days, weeks on end.

We are very commited to each other. The Love is there and has been since we meet in 2002. As a couple we havent been a priority since we had kids. We had the girls and they have consumed our lives and we love them very much, and if it wasnt the girls it would be the Army, they know when every special date is and you are never together for that. We havent been on a real date Since December 2006! We are making us a priority we need to reconnect as a couple. Before he left for this deployment we knew it was going to be hard but never imagined it would be this hard. So to a new year with new outlook on life

Yesterday I had a doctors appt to go on birth control and check lab work I had done for my PCOS. I had the Implanon placed in and OMG that hurt so much more then I thought it would. It is inserted into your upper arm. Today my arm is all balck and blue and is so sore. The IUD hurt far less then this did. But I wanted a something I wouldnt have to worry about taking pills daily, would last for a long time, and wouldnt fall out...lol We still want atleast 1 more baby but the time isnt right now. maybe in another 1-2 years. My Lab work all came back normal so I dont have to be on any extra meds. I am finally taking care of my medical needs. my next set of things to do is to make a doctors appt for my back pain, check the curve in my spine, and see about getting a breast reduction. I also need to go to the denist as do the girls of for there check ups.

Good and Bad News

Yesterday was our monthly FRG meeting we got Good News and Bad News

Good News is that Drews unit is NO longer on a 15month tour, they are down to 12 and are expected home in June/July!!! There had been "talk" of this for months now but yesterday was the first official news and it came from the battalion commander

Drew is expected home Next month for his R&R! We were planing on going to Corpus Christy for a few days but threw a friend found a resort place only a few hours away. It has a water park, ect... We cant wait to go!

Now for the bad News. The battalion commander who just came from Washington informed us that the unit is in the worst area in both countries. In the 1st 100 days of the deployment we lost 17 soldiers and had 100+ wounded, as of now we have lost 25-30 soldiers (1 died on R&R in a car accident). As of right now the fighting is minimal because of weather so a lot of terrorist have retreated back, but once the snow clears things will pick up again.

So if you don't mind saying good thoughts, prayers, ect... for the unit I am sure they could all use it.

been awhile

Okay so its been awhile since I lasted posted. Things have been busy since Kenzies been out for christmas break. She just went back to school today and was very thrilled to be going. Although Kylie was NOT happy about having to get up and out the door. She needs to get back in a routine again. I have been busy helping a friend unpack and prepare for her husband homcoming after being "over there" for 15 months the time has finally come. Her husband is a close friend of Drew and I. Him and Drew where in the same unit back in Germany, and he helped both of us out alot when we got there. We have made 3 signs to hang at the gate entrances, 4 signs to hold (she has 3 kids, plus Kenzie), Welcome home shirts for the kids, ordered balloons (I ordered Drews welcome home balloons too, early I know) , I took her kids to the park and took pictures of them to hang on the wall, I have to say they turned out pretty darn good.

Okay as for Us Now. Drew is doing good. Contact has been limited now because he no longer has internet there. There service went down at the end of Nov. and They just got a new service provider and they want to charge $200 a month per soldier to have internet in the rooms. Drew told them to shove it up there a**. LOL We were paying $100 a month before it went down. They are robbing soldiers charging that much for internet access. IMO the internet service should be free for all soldiers over there serving our country. There phone service is shitty too. The phones hardly ever work and they cut off at any given moment. never knowing when I am going to here from him again is hard.

Kenzie is growing and growing! I swear this kid is going to be a giant at the rate she is going. She has been having issues with her pants. going too low when she sits, bends down , ect.. you end up seeing 1/2 her butt and its not cause they are too big. So I took her shopping and got a whole bunch of Dresses for school (she was thrilled). She is wearing a size 5-6 little girls!!!!!!!!!!!! She isnt even 4 and is as big as 5-6 year olds. I had to buy her all new underwear, ect...

Kylie is doing good. Still in 18-24 months. She is still a picky eater...lol Oh and she is teathing like there is no tomarrow. She is working on cutting 8 teeth. All 4 molars and eye teeth. BOY does that make for a clingy cranky baby.

I am doing good cant seem to shake this darn cough. I have had it since the begining of Nov! It doesnt help that the weather is completly crazy. last week its was in the 70-80s, one day it was 83 and the girls were in shorts and sun dresses. yesterday it was cold 32 degrees and raining there were icicles hanging from trees, traffic lights, ect.. BRRRR.....

R&R is just around the corner we have a tennitive date and cant wait!!! Feb. Cant come fast enough! Although right now I am torn between a decision as to go on birth control or not. We would love to have another baby but at the same time we would love to pay off our credit card. plus I think there will be big time issues with Kylie if I did have another baby. She is such a mamas girls. I cant hold Kenzie or any other child without her coming over crying and screaming for me to pick her up... but I know that may only get worse as she gets older too. decisions decisions.. HELP I wish someone would just tell me what to do