Day 8

Ackward postion...not to ackward but the best I could find

Picture of your most treassure item..... My Family <3>

Day 6

A person you would love to trade places with......... My Husband who is deployed

I know he doesnt tell me everything that happens "over there" and I cant even imagine what it is like. But I would like to know what it is like, I would like to know about that part of his life. Also I would like him to see what it is like being me. Taking care of 3 kids, activities, laundry, cleaning, ect.. I am NOT saying 1 is easier then the other at all they are both different jobs and cant be compared.

Day 5

Memory....... Junior Prom

2 month

Its hard to believe it has only been 2 months since we said Good Bye, Since we last hugged, Since we last Kissed, Since I felt secure and that everything was going to be okay. I miss him so much and I keep thinking this will get easier as time goes on.....It hasnt it just seems to get harder. The Kids are doing better but I feel like I am falling apart. I hate everything about this deployment. I hate where my husband is, I hate how he is living. I seen pictures and I cried. He shouldnt have to live like that, NO one should have to live like that. They dont give the soldiers enough food, he rarely has a working shower or toliets, if it rains he has a waterfall coming in his room right over his bed, he has no way of washing his laundry...So I have (and his mom) been sending lots of care packages packed with food, I found a washing machine that is ment for camping so I ordered that and sent it. Mail seems to be taking alot longer then it was in the begining so hopefully soon he will be flooded with care packages. I just wish there was more I could do.

Day 04 - A picture of your night - Working out after the kids go to bed....tonight was the 1st night...Umm I am out of shape.

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show

Roxy from Army Wives

Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest - My huband he knows me like no one else does

WOW What a day

For the past 2 days the power has gone out twice during the day!! The 1st day it was out for like 3-4 hours. Which totally sucked. Today thankfully it was only off for like 1/2 an hour.

I was able to talk to Drew yesterday, which was purely amazing to hear his voice and the girls got to talk to him. :) and he got to hear Ethan yelling....lol He is doing good but sounded completly exhausted. I love him and am so proud of him, but really wish we didnt have to be apart and him be "over there" it seems to be taking them forever to get where they need to be going. I mean he left 6 days ago and they still arent there. I just want him to get settled, figure out what type of communication we will be able to have as he may be in a remote area. Praying he will have either phone or internet access (both is prefered..lol) and please god make time speed up a little quicker it seems to be dragging.

Ethan said Dada and baba today for the 1st time!!!! I could not believe my ears! thankfully had my cell handy and got it on video. Wish Drew was here to hear it in person. But video is the next best thing right?

link to video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CID9S8ejfPs


Kenzie had school today despite all the snow we got. They dont like giving snow days here on post, because everywhere else got a snow day and pretty sure most are getting 1 tomarrow.

Kylie has been well Kylie.. LOL I was making her lunch today and I called her silly goose, to which she called me crazy, so I told her she was crazy...she replied with, "I am telling daddy you called me crazy, when he gets home" LOL Okay Kylie you do that. She is so funny.

5 facts

1. I am happily married with 3 kids

2. I lived in germany for 2 1/2 years

3. My fav food is pasta

4. Hates deployments

5. is afraid of the dark

30 Day Photo Challenge

30 Day Photo Challenge
Day 01 - A picture of yourself with five facts

Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show

Day 04 - A picture of your night

Day 05 - A picture of your fa......vorite memory

Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item

Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most

Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the craziest things with

Day 11 - A picture of something you hate

Day 12 - A picture of something you love

Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist

Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without

Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die

Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you

Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity

Day 19 - A picture and a letter

Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel

Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget

Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at

Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book

Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change

Day 25 - A picture of your day

Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you

Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member

Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of

Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile

Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss

I miss him

Its been a rough day so far. I got to talk to him on IM for a few minutes last night before I went to bed. He said he would call or IM later. Well at 3:30am he IMed me, I IMed back and I am guessing internet cut off cause I havent heard from him since. Oh course It took forever to get back to sleep. I just layed there looking at the laptop hoping and praying he was going to get back on. Nothing. Then this morning Kylie started crying she wanted her daddy back. Which of course mad me cry cause I want him back too. She is such a big Daddy Girl.

I just want to be able to have a conversation with my husband, every time we have talked the internet on his side goes in and out in and out. Missing him so much.


UPDATE

He called it was so amazing to hear his voice again!!!!! I am so happy right now

Busy Day

Getting things back in order! Okay so I will admit I havent been keeping up with things like I normally do but between having a new baby (3 is alot harder then I thought it would be) and my husband getting ready to leave I let some things go in order to spend more time together as a family. So I am working on organizing everything again and getting back into a routine.



Kenzie had her 1st day back at school today since mid Dec. when they went on Christmas Break. Ethan fell asleep all by himself at nap time. I layed him in his crib when he was sleepy patted his back for about a min. Then gently bounced his mattress for a minute, Then I just stayed by the crib and he drifted off to sleep. No crying :) He shocked me by taking a 3 hour nap! In that time I got to spend some 1 on 1 time with Kylie and clean up the kitchen and sort threw laundry and start putting it away. Its amazing how much laundry a family of 5 creates.



I was doing pretty good today with not breaking down and crying. But then my phone rang when I was in the Kitchen making Dinner. My heart skipped a beat as I bolted to the living room. I grab my phone and look at the screen...its my daughters school. My heart sank and my eyes filled with tears, it wasnt my husband.



I KNOW I can do the whole running the house and raising the kids while he is gone thing, but I dont like it. I want my husband here with me and our kids want there daddy. Its so hard looking in there little sad faces when they say, I want daddy. It pulls at my heart.



I think 1 thing that makes it harder this time for me is all the 1sts he is going to miss with Ethan. He was there form 4-9 months with kenzie so he got to see her crawl, stand, talk, ect...He was there for her 1st Birthday when she took her 1st steps. With Kylie he was there threw the whole 1st year. So he didnt miss any of that. But with Ethan he is going to miss it. He is going to miss him talking, crawling, standing, and maybe walking (depending on R&R). It makes me so sad. I cant even imagine how he feels.

I wish he didnt have to miss a year of our kids lives every other year. Its so hard when he leaves especially in the begining. You dont want to leave your computer in case he gets on IM, you phone never leaves your side, its like everything is on hold. It sucks, its hard to get out of that mind frame. Its heart breaking when you miss that IM or Phone Call. But with 3 kids life goes on, I have to keep going for them. I take it 1 day at a time, try and stay busy. Last deployment I started sewing and bow making and it is something I love doing now. It kepts me busy at night after the kids are in bed.

He is gone..........

Yesterday was a hard hard day, A day I wish would have never come. A day of heart ache and tears. My husband left for a his 3rd tour "over there". It seemed harder this time then the 1st. It was so much hard watching his hug each of the kids and kiss them good bye. A year is such a long time, so much happens in a year.

Conversation with kenzie earlier

Kenzie, "When will daddy be home?"
Me, "In 1 year"
Kenzie, "Will daddy be home for Christmas?"
Me, "No I do not think so but after Christmas"
Kenzie, "I am going to ask Santa to bring daddy home for Christmas"
Me, (tears rolling down my face)

What am I suppose to say to that? Praying the next year goes by fast

Been Awhile!

Okay a while is an understatement, LOL! Well since last post

Major Events

Drew came Home

I had my breast reduction

Moved to Fort Knox, KY

Got Pregnant in Dec. 2009

Kenzie started Kindergarden

Had a bouncing baby BOY on Aug. 24th 2010

We are getting ready to entire our 3rd deployment

..................................

So Ready

So ready to have my husband home. Enough is enough of this deployment. It has been hard and long and I am so rady for it to be over. I want to move on with our lives. Right now it feels like its on hold. We cant move forward.

Once he is home there will be no more sleeping on the couch because he might get on the computer, no more making sure your cell phone is in reception and always by your side just in case he calls, no more worrying if he is alright as he will be right there be side me. I worry when I dont hear from him when he says he is going to get on or call. It puts me on edge and I get really aggrivated fast. We are so close to him coming home and I am so scared as I know that this is the time that the danger picks up because of new guys coming in, guys getting careless because they know they are going home soon, ect...

Most importantly I want to be a family again. I need/want my husband and the girls want & need there daddy so bad. Everytime there is a plane that Kenzie sees she asks if her dad is on it, or when he will be home, why is he away, ect.. We have drove by where his company is a few times since Drew left (its all the way on the other side of post) and Kenzie remember that is where daddy left from and asks if we are going to get daddy now. She pulls at my heart all the time.

Update of sorts!

We have about 11 days to go!!

Current projects..Helping a military family in need. Soldier is deployed he has 3 kids a 5yo boy, 3yo girl, and 1yo girl. The wife (use that term losely) has some mental issues. CPS ended up taking the kids (they are at his moms house till he returns) and she was put in a mental hospital. After she was released from the hospital she broke into there on post housing (Smashed an upstairs window) and took the furniture. A little over a week ago my frg leader and I started the cleaning process of the house. WE had NO idea just how dirty it was. We have spent hours and hours over there and have been there till 3am a couple nights. Its beyond dirty..down right gross. I am talking finding used tampons everywhere but the trash can, underwear with poop in them that have been there for awhile, ect.. Its GROSS!!!

I also have a couple sewing projects but dont think those will get done till after Drew comes home, Need to make Kenzies welcome home shirt, plus I am making the soldiers 3 kids shirt and I already made his 2 girls bows, I still need to finish cleaning my down stiars (upstairs is done), and I need to make 2 more welcome home signs. I think that is it...lol

This past Thursday I had a meeting with the plastic surgeon and got the green light to have the breast reduction! I will have 400-500 grams removed from the left side (about a lb) and 700 grams removed from the right side. The surgery should take place Mid. Aug but should know this coming week when for sure. I am scared and nervous but this is so needed

Found out a couple days ago we are moving this fall/winter (nov-dec.) to Fort Knox Kentucky! Another Chapter closing and another one opening...should be interesting to see where life takes us next..

Plastic Surgery

Last Month I meet with my PCM and she put in a referal for my to have a breast reduction. On tuesday I recieved confermation that I was approved to meet with a plastic surgen. We will have to travel about an hour away to go to the dr. I called the same day to set up an appt. The soonest appt. they have is July 31st! of course we will be out of town then so I was told I had to wait a few weeks as they dont have the Aug. Schedual out yet but she mentioned I could attend a seminar on June 11th. Bad thing was it was at night and day cares would be closed. So I had to pass it up. Well I was talking to a friend and she almost kicked my butt because she said she had no problem watching the girls. So I called and am set up for the seminar. The will go over the procedure of the breast reduction (there will be 8-10 other women there for the same reason), what to expect, ect... The drs will then do a 1 on 1 consultation with you to see if you are canadite, ect... If you are they will then have to submit another referal into tricare to see if they will cover it (yea I thought I already got the go ahead for surgery turns out it was only to see the plastic surgeon) that referal will take another couple weeks. So we should know late June or early July if I can do this. Please pray this goes threw. My back has only gotten worse since losing weight. (I thought it would get better) but losing 55 lbs did nothing for my boobs. They are still the same size. I am ALOT more top heavy now. We also need this done before we move other wise I will have to restart the processes again.

Army Wife

Being an army wife isnt easy. Your soldier works LONG hours, Everyday is different then the last, one day he could be right there beside you and the next in a country so very far away. The first few days/weeks you live by the phone and computer afraid to go out, because you know the moment you do you will miss that very important call/IM from him. If you do miss that call you heart sinks, you beat yourself up about leaving, you sit, wait, pray, and hope he will IM or call you again soon. You wonder how your going to do it without your best friend and husband by your side. But you take it one day at a time. Even though you feel like time is standing still, time is still going by. Holdiays, Birthdays, Anniversarys still happen. You put on a smile for the kids but deep down inside your heart broken because your husband isnt there to be apart of those memories and moments. You never get a break or time for you there is always something to do, someoen to take care of. Once a routine is established with your soldier being online/calling. When that routine is broken your scared and worried. Praying that everything is okay. You live for that IM and Phone Call. Its what keeps you going. You treasure the moments and time you are able to be with your soldier even if they are short. The saying absences makes the heart grow fonder...so true. Your marriage is tested each time they are away but in the end we come out stronger then we went in. I love my soldier and I am so proud to be his wife threw thick and thin, no matter what life brings we can over come it as long as we are together.

I promise

one of these days I will come back on here and update with pictures, ect..

Right now I am not doing so good physically. I am pretty sure most of my problems are a result to the birth control I am on. I am going to the dr. on the 30th and pray she will be able to remove it and not send me to an OB to have it removed. I am hoping once this is removed my body will return to normal. I plan on getting on another form of birth control before Drew comes home (looking like he will be home in June some time) so the sooner I get this removed the sooner I can get on something else. Note for anyone ready the Implanon is the worst birth control I have ever been on. When you read the side effects beware that you will end up with alot of them and they are not temporary.

I think I had a list of 17-18 side effects that can occur I have 10 of those!