Busy Day

Getting things back in order! Okay so I will admit I havent been keeping up with things like I normally do but between having a new baby (3 is alot harder then I thought it would be) and my husband getting ready to leave I let some things go in order to spend more time together as a family. So I am working on organizing everything again and getting back into a routine.



Kenzie had her 1st day back at school today since mid Dec. when they went on Christmas Break. Ethan fell asleep all by himself at nap time. I layed him in his crib when he was sleepy patted his back for about a min. Then gently bounced his mattress for a minute, Then I just stayed by the crib and he drifted off to sleep. No crying :) He shocked me by taking a 3 hour nap! In that time I got to spend some 1 on 1 time with Kylie and clean up the kitchen and sort threw laundry and start putting it away. Its amazing how much laundry a family of 5 creates.



I was doing pretty good today with not breaking down and crying. But then my phone rang when I was in the Kitchen making Dinner. My heart skipped a beat as I bolted to the living room. I grab my phone and look at the screen...its my daughters school. My heart sank and my eyes filled with tears, it wasnt my husband.



I KNOW I can do the whole running the house and raising the kids while he is gone thing, but I dont like it. I want my husband here with me and our kids want there daddy. Its so hard looking in there little sad faces when they say, I want daddy. It pulls at my heart.



I think 1 thing that makes it harder this time for me is all the 1sts he is going to miss with Ethan. He was there form 4-9 months with kenzie so he got to see her crawl, stand, talk, ect...He was there for her 1st Birthday when she took her 1st steps. With Kylie he was there threw the whole 1st year. So he didnt miss any of that. But with Ethan he is going to miss it. He is going to miss him talking, crawling, standing, and maybe walking (depending on R&R). It makes me so sad. I cant even imagine how he feels.

I wish he didnt have to miss a year of our kids lives every other year. Its so hard when he leaves especially in the begining. You dont want to leave your computer in case he gets on IM, you phone never leaves your side, its like everything is on hold. It sucks, its hard to get out of that mind frame. Its heart breaking when you miss that IM or Phone Call. But with 3 kids life goes on, I have to keep going for them. I take it 1 day at a time, try and stay busy. Last deployment I started sewing and bow making and it is something I love doing now. It kepts me busy at night after the kids are in bed.