First Day of School

Kenzie started school this past Monday, I cant believe she is old enough to go to school. Where did time go? She was/is very excited to attend school. Mornings come early here now. She is up and in the bath about 5:30am out of the bath, hair done, downstairs by 6, eat breakfast, finish getting dressed watch cartoons/play if there is time. Out the door at 7am. Her school is 7 miles form the house and it takes about 20-25 minutes to get there get out of the car and walk her to the door. When I picked her up she saw alot of soldiers there and asked why her daddy wasnt there? Tears filled my eyes because Drew wanted so bad to be here for her first day of school. I had to explain that where daddy is at working he cant come home and wont be home for awhile. But we will send daddy lots of pictures which she was happy about.

Just when everything seems to be getting back to normal

Just went I thought I was recovering from the misscarriage things take a turn for the worst. Thursday night I ended up in the ER having complications fromthe misscarriage. 6 hours later I got home things were better or soI thought. Friday Night I ended up racing to the ER hemmorging. My situation there went from bad to worse. Before I knew it I had 3 nurses and 2 doctors working on me. I was being poked and examined. I ended up having emergency surgery early Saturday Morning and spent most of saturday in the hospital. My sister in law flew out for the week to help me out with the girls (thank you...again). So things seem to be getting better, I still am get bad cramps at time but must keep going as life never slows down. Today the girls had the birthday pictures FINALLY done..lol and I got some of kenzie down for preschool.

Found out Today

Today I was at the hospital bright and early! We were up, dressed, and ready out of the house at 6:45am at the hospital at 7am. Got blood drawn at 7:15, waited the 2 hours for the results, kylie was fussy cause it was nap time and she was hungry so we grabed some patries and fruit at the cafe in the hospital. I finally got seen. Th nurse told me to undress for a ultrasound...I got excited thinking that ment everything was okay because they were going to check the baby making sure he/she is growing. Doctor came in and I seen the numbers on the paper and knew. I had lost the baby the #s went from in the 9thousands to the 4thousands. I was heart broke but held it together. He did an ultrasound to see if I need a D&C or not. I had already passed the baby and got the all clear that everything inside was okay and didnt need the D&C. I was happy about that. I had to have my blood drawn again because I need rhogam shot. So did that went home girls naped, I waited went back after lunch for the shot. So that was my day. I am sad but I knew in my heart that I had lost the baby so I had prepared myself for that. We will try again next year. God has a plan for us, we just have to wait and see what that is.

Home from the hospital....confused

Well I went in they tech did the ultrasound never said a word to me, ect... I figured it was normal since I had already been told the worse. I went to see the dr I had seen yesterday well everyone was confused as to why I was there, ect.. because the dr hadnt put anything down and was not there when I got there. So I ended up seeing a different dr 3 hours later. He said the my baby is only measuring 6 weeks and at that gestation its too soon see the heart beat. (I am suppose to be 11w 2d today) so he said I either have my dates wrong (110% sure I dont) or we did lose the baby at 6weeks. He did not do the D&C. I had to go have blood drawn to check my HCG levels and I go back monday to have them drawn again and see the dr. If they have gone down we will talk about my option. If they have gone up I am still pregnant with a viable baby.

I am so confused. I am praying that I am still pregnant with a healthy baby but I am not getting my hopes up as I know when I tested on June 20th I got a positive pregnancy test (its one that says pregnant not pregnant) and that was 7weeks and 2 days ago. So how would only be 6 weeks pregnant? Unless I lost the first baby with no signs or symptoms and then got pregnant right away as we werent using protection (why would we I was already pregnant). So I sit here pray my baby is okay but knowing that the chance are high I already lost him/her. This is an emotional roller coster and I am not sure when its going to end.

Never saw this coming

Today started like anyother day. The girls and I had some errands to go run. We stoped and had lunch and we went to the bathroom before leaving (kenzie is potty trained :)) well i noticed I started spotting. We left and headed to the ER. Got there signed in it was about 30 minutes before I got called back for vitals. The guy doing my vitals was a jerk. The blood pressure cuff kept getting tighter and tighter and ended up breaking blood vessels in my arm. The guy made a few comments along the lines up dont you think you should stop having kids after this one. I didnt say anything because it is none of his buisness. The nurse came in and said it was better if I go to the womens health clinic because they werew busy and it would be a few hours before I get seen. So I walked over there and they took me back pretty quick. They put me in a room dr came in and tried to listen for babys heart beat couldnt find it, Did an external ultrasound for a good 10 minutes went out of the room, came back with another dr.(at this point I knew somthing was wrong) He did a quick scan and said they need to do an internal ultrasound. Well he did the internal one and there was no baby. My uterus is still acting if I am pregnant. I am completly devestated. I started crying. the nurses took the girls into the other room. Tomarrow I go in to confirm it with the radiology, go back to talk to the dr, and then have surgery to remove everything. I cant seem to stop crying and I am so trying to hold it together in fornt of the girls but it so hard. You never think it will happen to you, I never did. I know we can and will have another baby some day but we wanted this baby. I keep wondering what I did wrong,ect... I feel so empty and lonely right now.

Rest in peace sweet baby we loved you and will miss you